oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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