Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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