I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
