he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
organizing the empties. That sober.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
