can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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