Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
