Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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