i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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