This is not my ceiling
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
