I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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