david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
