We're facebook friends in real life
lets start a swedish sibling band together
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
