Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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