You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
