Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
