grandma shit on top of the toilet
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
