Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he quoted the bible to break up with me
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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