There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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