He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
