It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
