This girl is more easily done than said...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
