Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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