Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
