I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
