I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
