Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Are we still banned from the library?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
