she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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