My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
