apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
