you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she told me i tasted like america
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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