I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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