That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
