You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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