I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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