its not stalking. its research.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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