im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Damn victory sex feels great
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
