I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
