Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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