WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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