Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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