gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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