So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
