Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She needs sedatives and a leash
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
