I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
