You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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