:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
