so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize