Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
