Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
