If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
People in love make me want to vomit
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
