Pappa wants mamma naked
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
