We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
