why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize