ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
