Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
