I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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