your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
