Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
