Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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