i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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